All iLive content is medically reviewed or fact checked to ensure as much factual accuracy as possible.
We have strict sourcing guidelines and only link to reputable media sites, academic research institutions and, whenever possible, medically peer reviewed studies. Note that the numbers in parentheses ([1], [2], etc.) are clickable links to these studies.
If you feel that any of our content is inaccurate, out-of-date, or otherwise questionable, please select it and press Ctrl + Enter.
Sleep together or separate?
Medical expert of the article
Last reviewed: 08.07.2025
After some time of living together, spouses begin to feel a certain coolness in their relationship. By pretending that the marriage does not exist, you can warm up your feelings a little. And sleeping in different beds in some cases can even save a married couple.
Almost every fourth couple sleeps separately. This is the conclusion reached by American sleep specialists. Considering the fact that the studies only took into account cases when one partner is uncomfortable sleeping next to the other (snoring, talking in their sleep, restless sleep), and people sleeping in different rooms due to various life circumstances (work schedule, coolness or heat in the room, etc.) were not taken into account, it can be concluded that the real number of such cases is much higher.
Sleeping apart contributes to a strong marriage. This was shown by a survey conducted in one of the popular American newspapers. Doctors, priests, and ordinary spouses were interviewed. The reason for this is the human body's need for 7-9 hours of healthy and restful sleep. And sleeping next to another person reduces it by approximately one hour. So, having allocated 8 hours for sleep, in the morning we feel sleepy and irritated, precisely because we actually managed to sleep only seven. Hence the quarrels, bad mood, nervous behavior.
Romanticism is another reason why couples choose separate beds. They sleep separately during the work week, and on weekends they have dinner together, which gradually turns into a shared bed. Distance intensifies desire, and many believe that such sex is much more emotional. But if this option does not suit one of the spouses, then it is better to refuse experiments of this kind.
Church ministers, with whom the newspaper's correspondents managed to talk on this topic, do not consider such cases to be anything reprehensible. In their opinion, the main thing is to maintain spiritual unity in the family, and sexual relations are an integral part of procreation.
And yet, there is still a danger from spending nights under different blankets. It lies in the psychological distance from each other. Once in the same bed, spouses may feel like they are next to a stranger, experience some discomfort, an unfamiliar novelty.