Fear of sex

Fear of sex (genophobia or coitophobia) is a condition that is absolutely not typical and, therefore, painful for a person, although it is explainable from the point of view of psychology and medicine. Lately, the phobia has become increasingly widespread, and among patients who, overcoming the feeling of shyness, still seek help from specialists, there is no clear gender distribution.

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Reasons for fear of sex

Fear of sex or genophobia is common to both women and men. And, despite the fact that its main causes are psychological factors, women's and men's fear of intimacy (and sometimes fear of even talking about sex) differs fundamentally.

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Fear of sex in women

The main reason for the fear of sex among the fair half of humanity has already become a traditional ritual, passed down from generation to generation and overgrown with a huge number of unfounded myths. Every girl who has reached puberty expects severe pain during her first sexual intercourse. As a result, unable to relax, the first sex really does give her extremely painful sensations. After this, the woman focuses on the discomfort and, having experienced it the following times, decides to stop any intimate relationships and even talk about sex.

There are a number of other reasons why genophobia develops in women:

• Rough first sexual intercourse or sex with an inexperienced partner.
• Experience of sexual or physical abuse or harassment in childhood.
• Hypocritical methods of upbringing, when sex is described by parents as something dirty and shameful; the instillation that a sexual partner should be the first and only man.
• Fear of the consequences of sex: sexually transmitted diseases or unwanted pregnancy.
• Rejection and hostility towards one's own body.
• Often, fear of sex is associated with childhood traumas, such as a father leaving the family. In this case, already in adulthood, a woman cannot build the right model of relationships with men or is simply afraid of betrayal.
• Problems with female genital organs that cause pain with every sexual intercourse.

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Fear of sex in men

Unlike women, whose fear of sex may arise due to physical health problems, genophobia in men always arises exclusively for psychological reasons:

• A despotic upbringing by a mother, the consequence of which is the fear of being completely absorbed.
• Fear of failure in sex, which will lead to ridicule and humiliation of dignity.
• Low self-esteem (“This girl is too good/pretty/smart for me”, “I won’t be able to satisfy her”).
• Sexual failures that have occurred in the past.
• Rejection of a particular woman or fear of being open and sincere with members of the opposite sex in general.
• Fear of blood – a man is afraid to have sex during his menstrual cycle.

But there is also a common reason for fear of sex for both sexes – sexual intercourse with a virgin. For a girl, it is always a fear of severe pain, which resembles violence, and for a young man – a fear of an unpredictable reaction of his partner to his actions.

Often the reasons for the fear of sex are related phobias: fear of being touched by people (haptophobia), fear of sexual harassment (agraphobia), fear of the opposite sex (heterophobia), etc.

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Manifestation of fear of sex

It is interesting that the fear of sex manifests itself in different ways and is not always visible to the naked eye:

• Complete refusal to have intimate relationships and mention them in conversation (this behavior is called erotophobia).
• Casual sexual relations are also a manifestation of the fear of sex and are called intimophobia. In this case, a person who was traumatized in childhood or adolescence is afraid to open up to a sexual partner and build long-term trusting relationships with him. Nevertheless, he has an uncontrollable craving for sex.

How to overcome the fear of sex?

In order to overcome the fear of sex forever, it is necessary to clearly determine the root causes of genophobia.

Fear of first sex

No matter how trivial the advice of psychologists and relatives may seem, in order to avoid the development of genophobia, it is necessary to follow the experience of generations:

• Enter into intimate relationships only after both partners are mentally ready for their first sex.
• Do not neglect a calm, arousing atmosphere and foreplay, but do not abuse alcoholic beverages immediately before sexual intercourse.
• To avoid distracting thoughts about unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, use contraceptives.

1. If the fear of sex has arisen in one of the partners suddenly, you can try to solve the problem yourself. Confidential conversations and finding out the cause of genophobia are necessary; in addition, the fear should be perceived as a common problem, and not a problem of one of the partners.
2. In order to get rid of the fear of sex, experts recommend drinking a small amount of alcohol or a mild sedative (valerian tablets, motherwort, mint or lemon balm infusions - only for women) before intercourse.
3. In cases where the fear of sex is associated with severe psychological trauma (violence, complexes, accompanying phobias), it is necessary to seek help from specialists - a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, psychologist. It is necessary to remember that without qualified help it is almost impossible to overcome the disease.
4. Women whose fear of sex is associated with painful sensations during intercourse should be especially attentive to their health. It is necessary to undergo an urgent examination by a gynecologist and find out the true cause of discomfort.

Fear of sex is such an unnatural phenomenon that you should not put off visiting a specialist, because a phobia that seems strange at first glance can not only ruin the intimate part of your life, but also result in irreversible consequences for your mental health.