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Psychologists have named the years of crisis of family life
Last reviewed: 01.07.2025
Numerous psychological and sociological studies show that family crises are inevitable. Each family goes through several stages of development as the years go by, and the end of each of them is a crisis.
A family life crisis does not arise out of nowhere; it is provoked by many factors. The most severe ones are usually associated with the most serious and traumatic stress factors - illness, death, war, job loss, the birth of disabled children. Although most often the relationship of spouses is tested for strength by everyday difficulties, problems in relationships with relatives, changes in financial situation (both for the worse and for the better).
Another factor that can cause problems in family life is the moment when one of the spouses experiences their own psychological crisis, for example, a midlife crisis. Reviewing their life, feeling dissatisfied with themselves, a person often decides to change everything, including their family life. Such important life milestones as a child entering school, a child's adolescence and leaving the parental family, as psychologists note, can also cause a crisis for spouses. But how can one understand that a family has entered such a crisis phase of their relationship?
8 symptoms of a family crisis:
- The desire of spouses for intimacy decreases.
- Spouses no longer strive to please each other.
- All issues related to raising children provoke quarrels and mutual reproaches.
- The couple does not have the same opinion on most important issues: relationships with family and friends, plans for the future, distribution of family income, etc.
- The husband and wife have little or no understanding of each other's feelings.
- Almost all of your partner's actions and words cause irritation.
- Each spouse feels that they are forced to constantly give in to the desires and opinions of the other.
- There is no need to share your problems and joyful experiences with your spouse.
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Years of crisis in family relations
Psychologists conventionally identify several dangerous periods of marriage. About half of all family unions, they say, break up after the first year from the wedding day. Problems in family life arise because young spouses cannot cope with everyday life and peacefully agree on the distribution of responsibilities - mainly because of the partners' unwillingness to change their habits.
The next critical age for a family is the first 3-5 years of marriage. Children appear, housing and professional problems have to be solved – all these are very serious factors of physical and nervous tension. There is a risk of alienation. In addition, during this period, the emotional relationship of spouses degenerates into family friendship, which can aggravate the resulting coldness in communication.
After 7-9 years of living together, another crisis may occur, associated with such a phenomenon as addiction. This is the period when life has more or less stabilized and everyday problems have ceased to be acute, time for reflection has appeared. Spouses may begin to compare reality with how it seemed several years ago in dreams. They often experience disappointment and begin to want something new.
If the husband and wife are still together, after 16-20 years of marriage another family crisis is possible. It is aggravated by the midlife crisis of one of the spouses. Also during this period, adult children leave the family and the spouses are left without their main "leading" activity - raising children. The spouses have to learn to live together again, and not everyone succeeds.
Psychologists emphasize that a family crisis is, first and foremost, a crisis of communication. It is important for spouses to be able to ask for forgiveness and accept apologies. It is wrong to "sulk" at your partner for days and make him feel guilty - eventually, this will get boring. If your partner is not ready for a truce, he should say so directly: "I need time to cool down, to calm down." If spouses love and respect each other, then any conflict is just part of their joint desire for mutual understanding.