Cheating mentally is also cheating

As is known, the concept of "marital infidelity" implies sex on the side. However, the physical intimacy of cheaters is always preceded by emotional infidelity. And this mental readiness for an extramarital affair is no less destructive to the relationship than the accomplished fact of adultery.

Emotional betrayal is, first of all, characteristic of the female psyche. Its greatest danger is that this feeling arises in a completely innocent way and, unnoticed by the woman herself, grows (very often!) into a need that subjugates all thoughts and desires. A very strong psychological connection with another arises, which makes the woman practically dependent. And so, being in a relationship with her husband or partner, she begins to emotionally invest in a new “friend”, ready to rush to him at any moment to support or console him.

You can't even count how many mistakes you can make and how many things you can break...

Signs of emotional infidelity:

• Communication with a “friend” takes place in secret from the partner, friends and family;
• In conversations with him, you freely use words that you do not allow yourself to use in the presence of your partner. The same applies to actions;
• You agree with the opinion of another, despite the fact that it contradicts the principles of the partner;
• In your mind, you increasingly “spend time” with someone else, not with your husband;
• Interest in sexual and emotional intimacy with a spouse decreases to the point of complete extinction;
• It seems to you that the other person understands you better than your partner;
• You increasingly play out scenarios in your head of sudden “liberation” from the bonds of marriage (the sudden death of your husband in an accident, for example), which will give you the opportunity to connect your life with a new chosen one;
• There is an insistent desire for physical contact with another – touching, hugging, etc.

According to experts, such symptoms do not yet make a woman a "cunning cheater". But if, say, you have discovered several of the above signs, consider this a reason to think seriously.

Mental betrayal is also betrayal

But the following behavioral characteristics indicate that in your mind you have already crossed the chaste line in your relationship with another person:

• You strive to share joy or report troubles that have happened, first of all, with him, and not with your partner;
• Your communication with the other person becomes much more intimate than it was not so long ago. For example, sexual topics have appeared in your conversations, and it does not matter that you discuss them “just as a joke”;
• You exchange quite intimate photos with each other;
• You deliberately try to create situations that allow you to be alone with another, and for this you are even willing to sacrifice time spent with your spouse or children;
• Your relationship with your spouse increasingly becomes one of disappointment, anger and alienation;
• You can't imagine your future without this person.

How to get rid of emotional dependence on another

First of all, this concerns those women who feel the emotional betrayal of their loved one happening inside - and want to stop it. The desire to return to normal relations with a partner and to free oneself from the obsession that feelings for another have become is the first and most important condition for preserving the family and "recovering" emotionally. Further, specialists give the following recommendations:

• stop communicating with the person you were going to cheat on. As the saying goes: "Out of sight, out of mind!" Stop seeing, communicating, meeting, receiving his calls, text messages and letters. Change your phone number, get a new email address, avoid visiting places, update your social media accounts and get rid of photos and other reminders of him;
• you need to free yourself from emotional chains. That is, talk it out so that your secret stops being a painful secret. You may have to contact a family counselor or visit a psychotherapist;
• realize that your relationship with your partner will never be the same again, so create new rules that will help you move on;
• spend more time together with your partner, try to ignite the spark of romance in each other;

There is nothing unnatural in blaming and condemning yourself. But self-flagellation and 24/7 beating your head with ashes are hardly necessary. Unfortunately, even the above advice - as well as consultations from the best family specialists - are not able to save the union if a deep crack has appeared inside.

If this does happen, don't make things difficult - don't beg your partner to stay and don't hold him back by any means possible. But be sure to listen to the advice of psychologists before you decide to take the next step. Whatever the betrayal, this episode should not become your life sentence.

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