Why does sexual incompatibility occur?

Sexual incompatibility is the second most common reason for the breakdown of relationships. In first place is complete emotional incompatibility. Why does sexual misunderstanding occur and what to do about it?

What is sexual incompatibility?

Scientists are still debating whether there is actually sexual incompatibility or whether it is simply the result of sexual and emotional illiteracy. Doctors consider obvious deviations from the norm, such as impotence or frigidity, to be true sexual incompatibility, which can only occur in 2% of cases.

Sexologists believe that biological incompatibility in its pure form is extremely rare between a couple. In 80% of cases, its cause is far-fetched and can be (not to say easily) eliminated. It is enough to simply become more educated in the field of sexual relations. There are many ways: specialized literature, communication with a sexologist, Internet sources.

Causes of biological incompatibility

According to the couple, these could be:

• Different temperaments
• Different daily routines
• Different concept of sex
• Different biorhythms

These reasons in most cases have no basis, many sexologists believe. From the very beginning, these conflicts could be reduced to nothing if a man and a woman knew more about themselves in sexual terms (not to mention their partners). But in practice, it often happens that far-fetched biological incompatibility is inflated to incredible proportions, and then it is necessary to correct the relationship, which has become tense due to insults, insults and mutual distrust. The consequence becomes a greater obstacle in the relationship than the cause.

Therefore, the sooner a couple receives a consultation with a sexologist, the faster they will be able to improve their relationship - both sexual and psychological. The couple should come to the appointment together, individual consultations are also possible. The best help from a sexologist is in combined appointments, when individual sessions alternate with couples.

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When sexual intercourse brings pleasure

The sexual instinct is one of the strongest in living nature. But only humans have sexual intercourse not only for the sake of procreation, but also for the sake of pleasure. Low sexual culture can be an obstacle to receiving pleasure during sexual intercourse. For example, a couple (or one of the couple) may think that they can receive pleasure in sex without any feelings for their partner. But this is far from true. If there is no feeling, then sexual intercourse simply turns into coitus (copulation). Such an act with purely biological content has much less chance of being successful than intimacy, in which both experience mutuality.

But is love (sympathy for each other) enough for full-fledged sexual intercourse? Of course not. A couple should have at least a minimum of knowledge about sexual relations.

Male sexuality

A man usually has a stronger sexual temperament than a woman. This is how nature has laid it down – he gets excited more quickly and is more active in intimacy. The initiative for sexual relations usually comes from the man (biologically, he justifies his role as a male).

If a man follows only his instincts, but is sexually illiterate, a normal relationship may not work out. If a man only takes the initiative, insistently demanding sex, gets excited quickly and cannot control his erection, he needs either an experienced patient partner or an experienced sexologist who will correct his sexual behavior.

An aggressive sexual act, in which a man takes into account only his emotions and does not take into account the feelings of his partner, requires a lot of physical and emotional tension from both. In this case, love play is practically absent, sexual intercourse is fast and aggressive, and orgasmic sensations can only occur in the man, but they do not last long. During a full sexual act, love play can last from 10 to 15 minutes, then coitus itself (copulation) occurs, the orgasmic phase can last longer for both and the decline in pleasure occurs slowly, the pleasure is stretched out over time.

Conflict of interest in improper sexual intercourse

During aggressive sexual intercourse without the woman's desire, she may not experience an orgasm at all. During the act itself, the woman may remain cold and indifferent, not experiencing any pleasure at the end. And then a conflict of interests may arise: a man who is not educated in sexual matters does not understand what is happening, because he tried so hard. He becomes suspicious of his partner, he makes claims about her coldness, thinking that she is enjoying herself with someone else. An experienced sexologist will help resolve this problem, all that is needed is the desire of both.

When sexual intercourse is performed correctly, a man must learn to control his emotions and biological instincts. It is desirable that his orgasm coincides in time with his partner's orgasm. That is, a man must learn to restrain his arousal, be able to stimulate his partner, doing this so that by the end of sexual intercourse, the arousal of both reaches the same intensity. Then there can be no talk of sexual incompatibility.

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