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What if I fell in love?

Alexey Portnov, medical expert
Last reviewed: 20.11.2021

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Very often, guys can not answer their own questions about what to do if they fall in love? Love covers with the head and it seems that you can not live without this girl, that this love will burn you and kill you and that it will be infinite. To understand how to behave further, you need to know what is love. And then the options for an answer - how to behave with a girl - will come by themselves.

Love is ...

From English, the word "love" is translated as limerence - this is a strong feeling or a complex that psychologists consider positive. The object of this feeling is another person (animal, object). Attention: psychologists say that falling in love causes a narrowing of consciousness, because of which the evaluation of the beloved object is greatly distorted. This is a psychological feature, which, with love, must be taken into account.

Because of this distorted assessment of reality, then there are many disappointments. You gave the girl some qualities, and then it turned out that she was completely different. And when time passes, and you look at the object of your love with sober eyes, very often the thought comes to mind: "And what did I find in it?"

But it will be later. In the meantime, a person does not see any drawbacks in the object of falling in love, but gigantic dimensions simply gain dignity.

What is the difference between love and other feelings?

The condition when a person falls in love, differs from sexual affection or infatuation with the fact that sex is not the main thing in this case. Fall in love with a person completely - his gait, habits, voice and so on. But, unlike love, love is more intense and stormy, but less prolonged. It can pass for a week, and maybe - for six months - depends on the nature and persistence of the one who fell in love, and also whether this love is mutual or not.

When a person falls in love, he experiences much more and more than when he fell in love. This condition scientists characterize as the final, but the exact boundaries of love are individual, they are difficult to define even by professionals. According to the most strict estimates, falling in love can last up to two years. But, no matter how happy you are in a state of falling in love or, on the contrary, no matter how much you suffer, you must know that love has one more important property: finiteness. Sooner or later it ends, passing either into a firm and strong love, or in indifference or disappointment.

And, of course, if you fell in love, this condition can be

Reciprocal
Unrequited

What social psychologists say about those who fall in love?

If you fall in love, the first thing a person does is try to be closer to the object of his passion. Either, squeezing, hides away from this object, but this does not cancel his desire to be closer. These two features are noted when social psychologists are in love.

If you fall in love, it is also determined by physical symptoms: a state of anxiety or anxiety, or causeless joy, or a drop of emotion from unrestrained happiness to hopeless sadness. Unrequited love is usually characterized by such a symptom as anguish.

When you ask yourself "What to do if you fell in love", note that the state of being in love does not depend on whether it is reciprocal or not. If love is not mutual, in 90% it quickly passes. But if the object of love answers the passion for a little, love can last much longer.

So, what if you fell in love?

First, ask the child about it. Children can express such thoughts, which, despite all their simplicity, are very useful to us, adults. Variants of answers:

It is necessary not to be afraid, but to go to get acquainted. (March, 5 years)
To say it in person to a person. You can not keep everything in yourself. (Frosya, 11 years old)
Well, if you're an adult, you can kiss ... (whispering) it's embarrassing to say, on the lips. (Rebecca, 5 years old)
Marry and make friends. (Mark, 6 years old)
Find ways to prevent this. (Petya, 9 years old)

Seriously, when you are in love you need to take into account all the information you read above and decide: do you want to contact your object of love? If yes, go, decide, find out. And be happy or, on the contrary, suffer in silence. Perhaps your love will not pass as quickly and imperceptibly as it began.

Translation Disclaimer: The original language of this article is Russian. For the convenience of users of the iLive portal who do not speak Russian, this article has been translated into the current language, but has not yet been verified by a native speaker who has the necessary qualifications for this. In this regard, we warn you that the translation of this article may be incorrect, may contain lexical, syntactic and grammatical errors.