Fact-checked
х

All iLive content is medically reviewed or fact checked to ensure as much factual accuracy as possible.

We have strict sourcing guidelines and only link to reputable media sites, academic research institutions and, whenever possible, medically peer reviewed studies. Note that the numbers in parentheses ([1], [2], etc.) are clickable links to these studies.

If you feel that any of our content is inaccurate, out-of-date, or otherwise questionable, please select it and press Ctrl + Enter.

What do you do if you're in love?

Medical expert of the article

Psychologist
, medical expert
Last reviewed: 04.07.2025

Very often guys cannot answer the question for themselves, what to do if you fell in love? Falling in love covers you completely and it seems that you cannot live without this girl, that this love will burn you and kill you and that it will be endless. To understand how to behave further, you need to know what falling in love is. And then the answer options - how to behave with a girl - will come by themselves.

Falling in love is…

The word "falling in love" is translated from English as limerence - a strong feeling or a complex of feelings that psychologists consider positive. The object of this feeling is another person (animal, object). Attention: psychologists claim that falling in love entails a narrowing of consciousness, due to which the assessment of the beloved object is significantly distorted. This is a psychological feature that must be taken into account when falling in love.

Because of this distorted assessment of reality, there are many disappointments later. You endowed the girl with one set of qualities, and then it turned out that she is completely different. And when time passes, and you look at the object of your love with sober eyes, the thought often comes to mind: "What did I see in her?"

But that will be later. For now, a person sees absolutely no shortcomings in the object of his love, but the advantages acquire simply gigantic proportions.

How is falling in love different from other feelings?

The state when a person falls in love differs from sexual attachment or infatuation in that sex is not the main thing in this case. People fall in love with a person completely - their gait, habits, voice, and so on. But, unlike love, infatuation is more intense and stormy, but less long-lasting. It can pass in a week, or in six months - it depends on the character and persistence of the one who fell in love, as well as on whether this love is mutual or not.

When a person falls in love, he experiences much more and more intensely than when he fell in love. Scientists characterize this state as finite, but the exact boundaries of falling in love are individual, and it is quite difficult even for professionals to determine them. According to the strictest estimates, falling in love can last up to two years. But no matter how happy you are in a state of falling in love or, on the contrary, no matter how much you suffer, know: falling in love has another important property: finiteness. Sooner or later it ends, turning either into persistent and strong love, or into indifference or disappointment.

Well, and of course, if you fell in love, this state can be

  • Mutual
  • Unrequited

What do social psychologists say about those who fall in love?

If you fall in love, the first thing a person does is try to be closer to the object of his passion. Or, being embarrassed, he hides away from this object, but this does not cancel his desire to be closer. Social psychologists note these two traits in falling in love.

If you have fallen in love, this is also determined by physical symptoms: a state of anxiety or worry, or causeless joy, or a change in emotions from unbridled happiness to hopeless sadness. Unrequited love is usually characterized by such a symptom as melancholy.

When you ask yourself "What to do if you fell in love", note that the state of being in love does not depend on whether it is mutual or not. If the love is not mutual, in 90% of cases it quickly passes. But if the object of love responds to passion at least a little, love can last much longer.

So, what to do if you fall in love?

First, ask your child about it. Children can express thoughts that, despite all their simplicity, are very useful to us adults. Possible answers:

  • You shouldn't be afraid, but go and meet someone. (Marta, 5 years old)
  • Say it to the person's face. You can't keep everything to yourself. (Frosya, 11 years old)
  • Well, if you're an adult, you can kiss... (whispering) it's embarrassing to say, on the lips. (Rebecca, 5 years old)
  • Get married and make friends. (Mark, 6 years old)
  • Look for ways to prevent this. (Petya, 9 years old)

Seriously, when you fall in love, you need to take into account all the information you read above and decide: do you want to make contact with the object of your love? If yes, go, decide, find out. And be happy or, on the contrary, suffer in silence. Perhaps your love will not pass as quickly and unnoticed as it began.


The iLive portal does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
The information published on the portal is for reference only and should not be used without consulting a specialist.
Carefully read the rules and policies of the site. You can also contact us!

Copyright © 2011 - 2025 iLive. All rights reserved.