What is the crisis of adolescence?

"He keeps snapping at me all the time," "He always makes claims to me," "He's completely out of hand!" - such are the constant complaints of parents who have a child as a teenager. If parents knew that there was a crisis of adolescence, they would have reacted much more calmly to all the tricks and tricks of their imperceptibly grown-up baby. We will talk about the typical features of adolescent behavior, so that parents can better understand how to act.

What is adolescence?

Adolescent medical age is classified from a fairly early period. Doctors and lawyers distinguish several categories of adolescents:

• Junior adolescent - 12-13 years old
• Average adolescence - 13-16 years
• The senior adolescence is 16-17 years old.

At what age does your child belong? Parents are sometimes very difficult to cope with a son or daughter, who at this age are completely unbearable. They just do not know what to do: just recently, such an obedient child now constantly keeps, from his own point of view, he believes that he is smarter than all parents and grandmothers with grandparents put together. Adults need to understand that this is dictated not by the spoiled nature of the son or daughter, but by teenage characteristics, which are rarely bypassed by the party. In the end, a couple of decades ago, the parents themselves were such, they just forgot ...

Why is adolescence the most difficult?

What explains the difficulties of adolescence, which - like it or not - is always the most difficult in the relationship of parents and children? First of all, this age is characterized by hormonal storms, because of which there are changes in the behavior and psyche of the child.

Excess production of some hormones and a lack of others, a change in their relationships can make a child a real tyrant or vice versa - a depressive hysterical. This period parents need to survive, because it is temporary. 3-5 years of patient attitudes and reasonable requirements to the son or daughter - such is a difficult parental fee for the quirks of physiology.

Of course, hormones are not the only stumbling block in the understanding of the older and younger generation. The child is growing rapidly, developing, he wants to feel grown-up, but for the time being he is not ready for it socially and psychologically. Therefore, parents should understand that the conflicts of the child with them or with teachers in school, and also with each other - this is, above all, the conflict of the adolescent with himself. The crisis of adolescence. What characterizes this difficult period?

1. A constant or periodic feeling of anxiety, fussiness, anxiety
2. Overpriced or underrated self-esteem
3. Increased excitability, nocturnal erotic fantasies, increased interest in the opposite sex
4. Sharp mood swings from cheerful to gloomy-depressive
5. Constant dissatisfaction with parents or other people
6. A sharp sense of justice

The child at this time is a constant struggle with himself. On the one hand, he is already an adult, he has all the sexual characteristics of an adult (especially in the senior adolescence). On the other hand, the teenager still can not realize himself socially, he asks for money from Mom and Dad for buns and coffee, and he is ashamed. In addition, the teenager is inclined at this age to attribute to himself a lot of merit, which for some reason the adults do not recognize. His greatest claim to peace in this period - the teenager as if did not give the right to freedom and in all limits.

What kind of reactions to expect from a teenager?

The reactions of adolescents at this age can be divided into 4 large groups. It is important for parents to know about them in order to successfully orient themselves in the uneasy behavior of their child.

"The reaction of general emancipation"

This is the most common reaction in adolescence. The child as it speaks to parents and the whole world: "I'm already an adult, listen to me, reckon with me! Do not need to control me! "The child at this time wants to show that he is a person, free, independent, and does not need instructions from others what to do. Too much need for self-expression and too little experience - these are the two factors that generate a conflict of adolescence.

The child conflicts with adults and at the same time - with himself. Do not be surprised if the child refuses to follow simple requests: clean the room, go to the store, put that or the other jacket on. This age is characterized as the age of depreciation of all the experience that the elders have accumulated, and their spiritual ideals. In pursuit of imaginary freedom, a teenager can go to extreme deeds: leave home, do not go to school, constantly object to parents, shout and hysterical. This is a typical reaction for this age, so parents need to have patience and tact and talk more often with their son or daughter, do not miss the psychological breakdowns.

Grouping Reaction

This is the line of behavior in which adolescents gather in groups - according to interests, psychological needs, social status. At the age of 14-17 years, children tend to knock together groups: musical, where they can shout and drum up, play guitar, sports, where they can compete and show each other different tricks, finally, yard, where children can drink beer or energy together and talk about the taboo - about sex, for example. In such a group there is necessarily a leader - he learns to gain his credibility directly as in adult life, there are conflicting parties and those who support each other. Such teenage groups are a model of the future adult society. Children are trained to behave the way their dads and mothers behave. True, unconsciously.

Often, adolescents cherish the opinion of their small team and try not to drop their authority in it. Few people at this age allow themselves the luxury and has enough wisdom to remain oneself. Kolya's opinion from his class can be an authority for the child, and he can not put his parents' opinion into anything.

The reaction of hobbies (hobbies)

This hobby for teens can be different activities, both good and bad. Sports, dancing, music group - good. The selection of money from the youngest in age is bad. But both that, and another at teenage age can get on and appear. Hobbies are divided into:

Cognitive (all classes that give new knowledge - music, roller skating, photography)

Accumulative (collecting posters, marks, money and so on) sports (running, barbell, dancing, etc.)

The hobby reaction is a good reason for parents to learn their child better and give him more favorite tasks instead of spending time arguing and proving their rightness. If a teenager is busy with a favorite thing, he simply will not have time for riots.

Self-knowledge reaction

This reaction is manifested in the adolescent as a way to understand oneself and most importantly - what the child is capable of, what is best for him, what he can best show himself. Maximalism in adolescence and the belief that he can remake the whole world are traits peculiar to the child. These are good traits that, with strong persistence, will make a successful person out of such a child. It's a pity that in a couple of years these features gradually fade away and the teenager, who has grown up, goes to an unloved work or wags his hand.

The most important traits of a teenager that is imbued with self-knowledge are comparing oneself with other people (usually more successful)

• Forming for themselves the authorities and idols
• Formation of personal personal value
• Goals and challenges for the future (conquer the world, invent a time machine, invent a new nuclear bomb)

When a child communicates with his peers by adults, his self-esteem is adjusted and regulated. The child craves recognition - explicitly or implicitly. If it succeeds, it becomes more successful. If not - there are hidden complexes, a desire to compensate for the neglect of society by defiant behavior. Or, conversely, the teenager closes in himself and ceases to trust people. This is also manifested in the crisis of adolescence.

Character traits of a teenager who are important to know the parents

All teenagers have the same character traits in one way or another. Parents should know them to be ready to respond in time to the antics of their son or daughter. And to understand that such behavior is not an exception, but a norm in adolescence. Therefore, you need to show maximum patience and wisdom in communicating with a teenage child. Here are the lines of behavior that characterize adolescents aged 12-17 years who are affected by the adolescent crisis

• The rejection of injustice, a sharp attitude towards the slightest manifestation of it
• Rigidity and even cruelty to relatives, especially to parents
• The rejection of authorities, especially the authority of adults
• The desire to take action and understand the situations that occur with a teenager
• Strong emotionality, vulnerability
• The pursuit of the ideal, the desire to be perfect, but the rejection of any comments from adults
• The desire for extravagant deeds, the desire to stand out "from the crowd"
• Show bravado, the desire to show their determination and courage, "coolness"
• The conflict between the desire to have many material benefits and the inability to earn them, the desire to have "everything at once".
• Alternating periods of turbulent activity and lack of initiative, when a teenager is disappointed all over the world.

Knowing these features will help parents to be more loyal to their children when they are experiencing a crisis of adolescence, and it is easier to transfer it ourselves.

[1], [2], [3], [4]