How do you teach a child to be happy?

To teach a child to be happy, you need to experience this feeling yourself. Up to 7 years old, a child is emotionally attached to his mother by 90%, up to 14 years old, he continues to feel this connection by 40%. But be that as it may, the child tries to copy the feelings and behavior of his parents. Therefore, you need to learn a few simple truths about how to be happy.

Scientific Facts About Happiness

Here are some facts about how to feel happier. And whether we use this ability. Scientists' discoveries will help us better understand how to manage our emotions, live easily and joyfully.

Fact #1: We don't use 40% of our resources

Sonja Lyubomirsky, an American professor of psychology from the University of California, found out in her research of the human psyche that up to 40% of the emotions that cause a feeling of happiness are not used by a person. But he can change the situation by working on himself.

According to Lyubomirsky, to feel happy, you need to learn to be grateful to people who do something for you. In addition, happy people do not compare themselves with more fortunate people, do not envy, and are happy that they are just like that, unique, special. Lyubomirsky also writes that to feel happy, you can use the state of "flow". This means completely immersing yourself in the task you are doing, and then time will fly by. "Happy people do not watch the clock" - this is exactly what was said.

A positive reaction to any events is another emotion that brings a person closer to a state of happiness. Experiments show that the same situation can make some people happy and still leave others unhappy. This happens because people react differently to the same circumstances. Happy people are happy with what they have, and they are given even more. Unhappy people are never happy with themselves and their circumstances. That's the whole simple secret that can be explained to a child.

Fact #2: Good thoughts can overcome bad ones.

Barbara Fredrickson's research shows that good thoughts outnumber bad ones by three times. So, to drive away a bad thought, you need to think about something good three times, and the negativity will go away.

Fact #3: You can't put off happiness for later.

Putting off happiness for the future is the worst mistake of all those who are unhappy. "When I win a million, I'll be happy." "When I get my degree, I'll be happy." This is what a person says to himself, and... he is never happy. Because, according to research by Daniel Gilbert, a professor of psychology at Harvard University. A person cannot accurately predict whether he will be happy, because he cannot say exactly what will happen to him, say, in a year. Or even the next day - remember Woland? In addition, a person cannot even know exactly why he can be happy. He can feel a state of happiness, but not understand that this is exactly it.

Experiments show that cancer patients, who would seem to be unhappy, are happier than healthy people because they value good moments more. They compensate for their illness with an optimistic attitude to life.

Fact #4: Positivity is transmitted

Everyone knows the rule: when you communicate with a positive person, your mood improves, and when you communicate with a negative person, your mood goes down. Professor James Fowla of the University of California and Nikas Christakis, his colleague from Harvard, write in their work that good deeds cause a chain reaction. When one person sees that another has done something good for someone and both are happy, he himself wants to do something good. You can teach your child to do small, but accessible good deeds: give up your seat to an old lady on public transport, help a classmate carry her schoolbag, water the flowers at home as a gift for mom. This gives rise to indescribable bright emotions.

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Happy Child Workshop

Learning to be happy is also work. It must be done systematically, and soon a person begins to look at life in a completely new way. He attracts the most favorable circumstances and good positive people.

Step #1 Stop complaining and whining

Ask your child to watch himself and ask your family to do the same: as soon as you start complaining, let them “catch” you and fine you. Or just stop you. And the best thing is to use the method of the American priest Will Bowen “How to change your life in three weeks”. The priest made a stunning discovery (which, however, many famous thinkers had already made before him). What and how we say changes our life and our actions beyond recognition. He suggested that people put a purple bracelet on their hand and think and say only good things. As soon as a person loses control of themselves and starts complaining about something, the bracelet should be taken off and moved to the other hand.

You have completed the task if the bracelet lasted on one hand for 21 days – exactly three weeks. As studies have shown, these 21 days without complaints changed people's lives beyond recognition. They made great progress, found new friends and infected others with their optimism. Do you have a couple of purple bracelets in your home for you and your child?

Step #2 Make only optimistic forecasts

You need to teach your child (and learn yourself) to make positive predictions. When you are going somewhere, you need to create a mental image in your head that you are loved there and expected, that everything will work out well for you. This is a positive scenario that we materialize. Moreover, how true this mental image is is not important: we ourselves will make it real if we sincerely discard negative thoughts and phrases and practice only positive ones.

It doesn't matter to the body whether you are going to break a cup or actually pick it up to throw it. Intention gives birth to a real event. Therefore, create only positive scenarios for your life, and they will come true. This visualization goes into the subconscious and becomes a program for your brain, a plan for implementation.

Step #3: Give your child self-confidence

If a child doubts something, let him learn the magic phrase: "Everything is possible!" It was formulated in his books by one of the most popular authors in the world - Deepak Chopra in his book "Seven Spiritual Laws of Success". He says that according to the laws of nature, we get what we strive for. And it is not what a person declares that is important, but what he really wants for himself. Believe in the best for yourself - and it will come true. Explain this to your child, children know how and love to believe.

Step #4 Turn obstacles into steps to success

It is an amazing ability to turn obstacles into experience and success. These are the traits of a truly happy person. According to the law of least effort, a person does less and achieves more. What does this mean? It means that the child learns to accept the circumstances that happen to him and the people he communicates with as they are. Without judging or taking offense, but simply accepting them as a fact.

You need to learn to control your thoughts so that you don’t judge anyone. The principle is the same as with complaints: ask your loved ones to “slow down” as soon as they hear judgment or catch your child gossiping. It is also important to give people the opportunity to have their own opinion, even if it does not coincide with the child’s own opinion. This will form an open, calm attitude to all the circumstances that happen to him. And then any life lessons will truly be lessons of success for the child, and not a reason for resentment.

Being happy means having a completely different way of thinking. Work on your thinking together with your child, and your life will change. And you will be able to answer the question with absolute certainty: how to teach a child to be happy?