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How to teach a child to be happy?

, medical expert
Last reviewed: 19.10.2021
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To teach a child to be happy, you need to experience this feeling yourself. Up to 7 years old the child is emotionally attached to the mother by 90%, till the age of 14 he continues to feel this connection by 40%. But anyway, the child tries to copy the sensations and behavior of the parents. Therefore, you need to learn a few simple truths about how to be happy.

Scientific facts about happiness

Here are a few facts about how to feel happier. And about whether we use this ability. Discoveries of scientists will help to better understand how to manage their emotions, live easily and joyfully.

Fact number 1. We do not use 40% of our resources

Sonya Lubomirski, an American professor of psychology from the University of California, in the course of research on the human psyche, found that up to 40% of emotions that cause happiness do not occur. But he can very well change the situation by working on himself.

According to Lubomirski, for the happiness you need to learn to be grateful to people who are doing something for us. In addition, happy people do not compare themselves with the more fortunate, do not envy and rejoice at the fact that they are just such, unique, special. Lubomirski also writes that for the feeling of happiness, one can apply the state of "flow". It means to completely immerse yourself in the work that you are doing, and then time will fly by unnoticed. "Happy hours are not watched" - it is said about this.

A positive reaction to any events is another emotion that brings a person closer to a state of happiness. Experiments show that one and the same situation can make some people happy and still be unhappy to leave others behind. This is due to the different reactions of people to the same circumstances. Happy people are happy with what they have, and they are given even more. Unhappy people are never satisfied with themselves and circumstances. That's all a simple secret that can be explained to a child.

Fact number 2. Good thoughts can win bad

Studies Barbara Fredrickson show that good thoughts in relation to the bad three times less. So, to drive away a bad thought, you need to think about something good three times, and the negative will go away.

Fact number 3. You can not put off happiness for later

To set aside happiness for the future is the grossest mistake of all who are unhappy. "I'll win one million, and I'll be happy." "I'll get a diploma, and I'll be happy." So the person speaks to himself, and ... Does not never be happy. Because, according to research by Daniel Gilbert, a professor of psychology at the University of Harvard. A person can not accurately predict whether he will be happy, because he can not say exactly what will happen to him, say, in a year. Yes, even the next day - Woland remember? Also. A person can not even know exactly why he can be happy. He can feel the state of happiness, but do not understand that this is it.

Experiments show that cancer patients who, it would seem, should be unhappy, are happy healthy people, because they appreciate more good moments. They compensate for their illness with an optimistic attitude to life.

Fact number 4. The positive is transferred

Everyone knows the rule: you communicate with a positive person - the mood itself rises, but you communicate with the negative - and you yourself sour. Professor of the University of California James Fowla and Nikas Christakis, his colleague from Harvard, write in their work that good deeds induce a chain reaction. When one person sees that another has done somebody good and is both happy, he himself wants to do something good. You can teach your child to do small, but good deeds available to him: give way to the old woman in transport, help carry the briefcase to a classmate, pour flowers home as a gift to her mother. This gives rise to inexpressible light emotions.

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Practice of a happy child

Learning to be happy is also a job. It must be conducted systematically, and soon a person begins to look at life in a completely new way. He attracts to himself the most favorable circumstances and good positive people.

Step # 1 Stop complaining and whining

Ask the child to look after themselves and ask their homeworkers to do the same: as soon as they start complaining - let them "catch" you and set a fine. Or just stop. And the best way to apply the method of the American priest Will Bowen "How to change your life in three weeks." The priest made a terrific discovery (which, however, had already been done by many famous thinkers). What and how we say, beyond recognition changes our life and our actions. He suggested that people wear a purple bracelet on their hands and think and speak only good things. As soon as a person does not control himself and starts complaining on something, the bracelet is removed and moved to the other hand.

You completed the task if the bracelet lasted on one hand for 21 days - exactly three weeks. As research has shown, this 21 day without complaints changed the life of people beyond recognition. They made great strides, found new friends and infected others with their optimism. Do you have a couple of purple bracelets for you and your child in the house?

Step # 2 We make only optimistic forecasts

You need to teach the child (and learn by yourself) to make positive predictions. When you are going to go somewhere, you need to create a thought-image in your head that you are loved there and expect that everything will turn out well for you. This is a positive scenario, which we materialize. Moreover, how true this thought is, it does not matter: we will make it real if we sincerely reject negative thoughts and phrases and practice only positive ones.

For an organism it does not matter if you are going to break a cup or actually take it in your hand to throw. The intention gives rise to a real event. Therefore, form only positive scenarios of your life, and they will come true. This visualization goes into the subconscious and becomes a program for your brain, a plan to perform.

Step # 3 Give the child self-confidence

If the child doubts something, let him learn the magic phrase: "Everything is possible!" It was formulated in one of the most popular authors of the world - Deepak Chopra in his book "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success". He says that according to the laws of nature we get what we want. And what's important is not what a person declares, but what he really wants for himself. Believe in the best for yourself - and it will come true. Explain this to the child, the children know how and love to believe.

Step # 4 Turning obstacles into success steps

Step # 4 Turning obstacles into success steps

This is an amazing ability to turn obstacles into experience and success. These are the traits of a truly happy person. By the law of least effort, a person does less, but achieves more. What does it mean? This means that the child learns to accept the circumstances that occur to him, and the people with whom he communicates, such as they are. Without condemning and not resenting, but simply accepting as fact.

You need to learn to control your thoughts so that you do not judge anyone. The principle is the same as with complaints: ask relatives to "slow down" themselves, as soon as they hear a condemnation or mark a child on gossips. It is also important to give people the opportunity to have an opinion, even if it does not coincide with the opinion of the child himself. This will form an open, calm attitude to all the circumstances that are happening to him. And then any lessons of life will really be lessons of success for the child, and not an excuse for offense.

To be happy is to have a completely different way of thinking. Work on your thinking with your child, and your life will change. And you can definitely answer the question: how to teach a child to be happy?

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